"Positive Things Happen To Positive People"Issue #13

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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy:
"Seize the moment."

Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this
planet. Too many people put off something that brings
them joy just because they haven't thought about it,
don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was
coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the
Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful
night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried
to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because
their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until
after something had been thawed? Does the word
"refrigeration" mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat
in silence while you watched Jeopardy! on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said,
"How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would
gasp and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the
line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday,
I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.
And my personal favorite: -"It's Monday".
She died a few years ago.
We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives,
we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a
sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves
when all the conditions are perfect :

We'll go back and visit the grandparents ---
when we get Stevie toilet-trained.

We'll entertain---
when we replace the living-room carpet.

We'll go on a second honeymoon---
when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older.
The days get shorter, and the list of promises to
ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken,
and all we have to show for our lives is a litany
of "I'm going to," "I plan on" and
"Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend,
she is open to adventure and available for trips.
She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her
enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with
her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade
your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades,
and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years.
I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well
apply it directly to my hips with a spatula and
eliminate the digestive process. The other day,
I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker.
If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home,
I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day.
Do something you WANT to..
not something on your SHOULD DO list.

If you were going to die soon and had only
one phone call you could make, who would
you call and what would you say?
And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will
understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing
on a merry go round?

Or listened to rain lapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down Don't dance so fast

Time is short, The music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down, Don't dance so fast
Time is short, The music won't last.

Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die
To busy to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down, Don't dance so fast
Time is short, The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away...

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

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The Greatest Love Of All?

The song "Greatest Love of All," written by
Michael Masser and Linda Creed (performed by
Whitney Houston) contains the following lyrics:
"I found the greatest love of all/Inside of me/ ...
Learning to love yourself/It is the greatest love of all."

There are many types of love that we have for the
people in our lives: love for a romantic partner or spouse,
for our family, for our children, for our friends, for humanity,
in general, and for ourselves. Which of these is most
important? Which should be our first priority?
Is self-love the "Greatest Love of All"?
Or is it selfish and self-indulgent?

In my counseling practice, I encounter a lot of
people who believe that to love yourself, or to
give to yourself, is a "bad" thing. They see
this as "selfish" or "self-centered."

What about your parents, your children,
and/or your friends? Should you put your love
for yourself before your love for them? Although
I believe that love for others is extremely important,
I believe that self-love should - and must - come first.

What about you? Do you agree? Or are you cringing?
Do you feel uneasy with this idea? Or does it make
perfect sense? We hear, over and over again,
"Before you can love someone else, you have to love
yourself, first." The saying has almost become a cliché.
Yet, on some level, many of us feel uncomfortable
with this. Why might this be so?

Suppose you find your "soul mate" and feel that
all-encompassing love that everyone seems to seek...
Should you love yourself above your soul mate?
Should your self-love mean more to you than your
soul mate's love for you? What about your parents,
your children, and/or your friends? Should you put
your love for yourself before your love for them?
Although I believe that love for others is
extremely important, I believe that
self-love should - and must - come first.

When I talk of self-love, I am NOT advocating
that we should stop caring for others, and just
focus on ourselves. Being in service and giving
back to your community is something I believe
is very important. Showing kindness to others
and demonstrating our caring for our loved ones
is a key to having a fulfilling life. However,
maintaining a balance is critical. You cannot keep
giving to others if you do not give to yourself, first.
It is like pouring water from a vessel: you cannot
pour and pour without ever refilling it -
eventually, it will run dry. Like that vessel, we,
too, need to refill, recharge, and re-energize.
We need to replenish ourselves,
by loving and giving to ourselves.

Learning to love yourself may be the greatest
love you ever experience and achieve. Self-love is
not "selfish"or bad. When you love yourself, you will
feel good about yourself, and you will feel better about
the world. This will make it easier for you to give love
to others. Especially if you are a parent or any type of
caregiver, you must not forget to take time out to care
for yourself. When you take time to re-energize, you
will have more energy both for yourself and to share
with the people you love and those in your care. The
person who feels self-love is generally happier and
much more pleasant to be around than the person
who lacks self-love and self-esteem.
Embodying self-love is the greatest example we can
set for our children, for our loved ones, for our friends,
and for all those we encounter in our lives.

by Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A.

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I thank you for reading
Touching Bases
by Jeanne Dickerman,
Your Personal Psychic Reader

I can help you.
I hope you will invite me.

Jeanne

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