Relationships - Part 3

Long distance relationships have their pros and cons. It's easier to "keep the romance alive" when you're apart, but it requires a lot of effort and work and you have to be really good at communicating.

1. You must have good communication skills. Communication skills of the 'other than in-person' type. You'll be talking on the phone and writing a lot!

2. Communicate once a day at least. If you can't afford phone calls, use email, instant message, even faxes.

3. Get together as often as you can. Regular intervals provide stability and build trust. Plan the next get- together before you part. It builds trust and continuity in the relationship. Don't leave it up in the air whether you'll be meeting again or not. Set the next date if possible, or have a regular meeting time - the first weekend of the month, for instance.

4. You must be willing to put extra effort into making it work. It can be amazingly hard with today's busy lifestyles to make and keep even a phone date. (Mobile phones help a lot.) Travel can lose its charm after a while. Not being able to see each other every day means having to save important things you want to share, and allowing plenty of time for intimate conversation when you do talk or write.

5. If something's bothering you, bring it up right away. Small concerns can grow into big problems if allowed to fester. It takes some skill to communicate LD but it can be done. Share your concerns, the trials of being apart, the difficulty in travel, etc. Just like you would if you were together - the concerns might be different, but there would still be some.

6. Talk about small daily things and keep your partner up-to-date. Since they can't experience it or see it, explain it, talk about it. It's especially important to share your lives this way - what you're doing, where you ate lunch, the friends you're seeing, what you're doing at work. Email good articles you've read, share websites, books. Takes quizzes on line and share results. This brings immediacy to the relationship.

7. Suspicion and jealousy can become self-fulfilling prophecies, and if you're prone to this, an LD affair is not for you. Assume and trust until given direct proof not to.

8. Meet in different places. Since you're traveling anyway, you might as well add this to the mix. It can save you both time and money to meet somewhere in between. Trade off meeting at their place or yours. In that way, you'll get to know more about each other's lives.

9. Build toward the future and be optimistic. Talk about when you'll be shortening the distance— make sure you both have the same goals in that respect. Strong relationships always build to the future. Some people choose long distance relationships because they permanently like "distance," but they can work out, and we all know examples where they did!

10. Everybody likes a surprise! Indulge. With the Internet, it's easy to send gifts. Snail mail cards, send e- cards, mail a book, flowers, candles. Keep your presence in front of the other person, and let them feel that you're thinking of them in as many ways as you can.

Do’s are what enhances relationships. Don’ts are what kill relationships. Our surrounding is made up of different people from different backgrounds. Our upbringing, past dating and relationship experiences, etc. all mold our thinking. Even the consequences from our own relationship choices may mold our thinking. As a result, you may develop positive or negatives characteristics from your past relationship experiences. Hence the experiences will become characteristics you will take into the next relationship. So in effect, whether your relationships is going to work or not is predetermined. It all depends on the characteristics you choose to take with you into your relationship. I say this for several reasons. One reason is all human being are capable of changing. As an adult you have a choice in what characteristic you wish to sustain. It is safe to say how you treat your relationship is a choice you make.

Assuming your last relationship was a bad experience; learn not to take that experience into your next relationship. There is a good reason for that. If you want to find that special someone, it is best to introduce positive characteristics into your dating practices. Here is why. The human heart does several things. One of the things it does is it acts as your guide. Your heart, believe it or not is your compass if you wish to be lead to your soulmate.

Some relationship experts refer to the heart as spirit, inner guide, conscience and so forth. The true mission of your conscience is to direct and teach truth. When you endeavor to doing things that are right you are in effect following your conscience dictates. Characteristics and habits of those who follow directions from their conscience to acquire meaningful relationships are such as: integrity, harmony, temperance, patience, thankfulness, honesty, joy, love, goodness, forgiveness, humility, respect, trust, understanding etc. I call these characteristics Do’s of relationships. They are qualities that enhance love between man and woman. These qualities predetermine how you will treat your lover. Further more your characteristics also tell your love interest what kind of man or woman you are. Those who are authorities in relationships discovered the collapse of most relationships and marriages are attributed to selfishness. For example, the very moment you decide to enter a relationship just for what you want, you have pre-programmed the relationship to fail. Why? Because your intention is not about sharing your heart with another person but to get what you want. Try and have a relationship that is not me, me, me relationship. This way you will have a greater chance of succeeding. What I am sharing with you has been researched and proven to be one of the best ways to find your Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Relationships are about two people. Take into consideration your partners feelings as well as yours. When you decide to enter a relationship with positive characteristics you have pre-programmed your relationship to work. Consider the words that represent positive characteristics. Do you notice how they also represent real love? Real love is absolutely needed in relationships. It helps prevent you from emotionally injuring your partner. The best part of it is you will not create a person who becomes male or female basher in case the relationship turns out to be temporal.

Fact, if you follow your conscience or inner guide you will be directed away from sparking a dead end relationship. You will be directed to find your soulmate. Human beings were not created to be alone. Neither are we here to have failed relationships. In case you are asking your self, what if I go into a relationship with positive qualities and it does not work? The answer to that is simple. Remember relationships take two people. You may have good intentions before interring a relationship but your love interest may not. In the event that you missed the directions from your conscience, it is okay. Remember this saying? If at first you don’t succeed try again. When you try something and it does not work, there is the likelihood that next time you will use a different approach. Changing your approach actually puts you in a better position to succeed next time around provided you do not become discourage by giving up. It is very critical you use methods that are proven to work. Finding that special someone or your soulmate is actually easier than you thought. I can assure you of that. There are fact base and proven methods you can use to find your soulmate. Never ever allow your self to be part of those who claim finding a perfect companion is hard. They are people who have given up and want you to become a quitter just like them. Create a mindset that attracts success. Negative thoughts and discouragement leads to failure. Positive thinking attracts success.

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Negative characteristics are such as: vindictiveness, discord, contention, dishonesty, pride, hate, faultfinding, envy, gossip, disrespect, lies, unforgiving, impatience, discouragement, selfishness etc. These negatives characteristics are what I call Don’ts of relationships. They are relationship and marriage killers. They put strain on your relationship and love life. If you are serious about finding that special someone listen and follow your inner guide. Avoid taking negative characteristics into relationship. As a writer and relationship advisor, I try to help my readers by providing free advice on my Website. The site also contains the most powerful relationship secrets ever revealed in an e-book. Depending on researched and proven facts will help you find that special someone. Even bringing out the best in your dates contribute to helping you succeed. Improve your chances of success by adopting and introduce characteristics that will help enhance your relationship.

To get started, I suggest drawing a straight line on a piece of paper. Above the line you may list the positive words at the beginning of this article. Below the line list the negative words that represents negative characteristics. You may choose to include your own words if needed. Now transform the words into action in your mind. Pretend there are two people on either side of you. One is treating you in a matter that represents the words above the line. The second person is treating you in ways that represent the words bellow the line. Assess your feelings as to how you are being treated the two imaginary people. Eliminate the negative words from your mind. From then on try and follow your inner guide accompanied by the positive words that illustrates positive characteristics. Use it to enhance your relationship, love life or dating habits. Remember if you want relationship that works, if you want to find your soulmate, you must make choices that will lead you to what you are looking for. Your choice of thoughts and actions will achieve their appropriate results. Good luck.

"Love conquers all, right?" Well, it's suppose to. But most marriages will end in divorce.

Most of their problems are about the children, money, or in-laws. When couples commit to a long relationship, there are specific personality traits they should have in common.

1. Similiar physical texture (thick skinned/thin skinned)
2. Similiar emotional stability
3. Similiar degree of tolerance
4. Similiar intelligence/understanding of situations
5. Similar Interests

Without these five traits, the couple live on difference planes, different worlds. They are inclined to drift apart. Couples grow by adjusting to their differences, but some times, the amount of the difference may be too much Love provides the reason for being willing to adjust to the other person's difference from yours.

A frequent question is; "How do I know it's real love?" The answer may be that when you are enjoying something special - ex: a movie, a sunset, flower, song, and you long to have your partner to share it with. The degree of longing will determine how much in love you are. Growth in a relationship should come from; doing things together, allowing things to happen, accepting them as is, and changing what you can. It involves sharing and caring.

Couples usually don't mind working at their relationship as long as they have a closeness to each other. They don't want divorce, they want understanding. Divorce is usually a rebellion at not being able to get through to each other. The couple are still in love, that's why it hurts so much to part. More times than not, it could just be a matter of really getting to know one another, and truly listening to each other, and accepting that there are differences.

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